You have me
by 17Aaron13
Summary: Do you want, until death seperates you, to be faithful to her for all days?" - Huey doesn't know how answer to that question.


_You  
You have  
You have me_

_-_

It took months to plan this. Nearly a year. Every day we had to choose something in preparations for this. We had to make sure that everything was fine: and if it wasn't, well, paranoia came out and made us do everything over again. So it was wise to be sure that the other things were fine too. I'll be damn if I passed up the opportunity to prevent some unnecessary visits from paranoia.  
A year like this makes you feel quite old inside.  
However, today is the great day. Today everyone is in the right place, anxiously waiting for her. The bride. Jazmine.  
I'm gonna marry Jazmine.  
I look at the hosts. I never met one of them before in my life. Or maybe yes- I don't remember. Isn't important. I only have to be polite and try not to look so bored. I mean, I might as well use all my energy now to at least look excited. Especially since I'm going to pretty much look miserable from boredom during the banquet.  
Caesar is near me. He's the best man, obviously. I don't know if he's so dour for the marriage or from the hangover. If it is from the hangover, I don't know if it's from the drinks for the wedding or just from a stag party in my honor in which I wasn't invited. Not unlikely, knowing Caesar.  
The few times he meets my sight he does a really weak smile that I can't decipher.  
It makes me pretty uncomfortable.

-

_You  
You have  
You have me_

_-_

Riley is near Granddad. Jazmine chose to not have him for best man, so that's why he's in the crowd.  
Like always, he dresses like one of his greatest idols: Tony Montana. He had to change the colors 'cause Jazmine didn't want other beings in white at her wedding.  
Well, Riley is in one of the nearest seats, with a face that makes me imagine how much he wants to be here.  
He's bored. The wedding haven't even started, and he already wants to get the hell up out of here. I have a strong feeling that the only reason he haven't left that seat yet is because of Granddad.  
He meets my eyes and simply thumbs up in an unfeeling move that probably means, 'good luck with that' or 'yeah, I'm here, now where's your hoe'.  
Again, this doesn't make me feel any better.

_-_

_You  
You have  
You have me_

_-_

The wedding march begins, and I don't know if I'm happy for that. Cindy and… whatever the names of the other bridesmaids and partners comes toward me.  
Cindy is the maid of honor. Effectively, now that I think, the choice to not let Riley be the best man has a sense. Wasn't a nice sight to see when the two witnesses stick out their tongues at each other.  
Cindy's the happiness in human form. And probably one of the few people in this world that looks almost nice with a pink dress- _fuck_, I'm surrounded by little and squeaky Easter eggs.  
Cindy goes at my left – exactly in front of Caesar that barely understands what's happening around him – and the music suddenly gets louder.  
From the door comes out Mr. Dubois - a really happy and touched Mr. Dubois - and Jazmine.  
I think that she's even shining in that beautiful and pompous – did I forget really expensive – dress. Seems that the church is lighted by Mr. Dubois's joyful smile.

Something in my chest is dying.

-

_You have me  
You have asked me_

_-_

The priest is saying the formula to Jazmine. I don't hear a single word of what's being said, and this is almost panicking.  
We are at the altar from... around a half hour. Normal worship, we had to do that.  
But how could I pay attention when I hear Riley's attempt to choke a yawn? Why the hell are there moments in which Caesar giggle? And is I imagining this or is Cindy kidding with my brother and my best man?  
I don't understand a word of what the priest is saying, but I hear Jazmine. I hear her 'yes'.  
And this send me back to reality, where a old churchman is looking at me smiling.

_-_

_You have asked me and I have said nothing_

_-_

He says the formula. Every word is echoing in my mind, and I can only stare at him, trying to remember what the hell I'm supposed to say. What I _have_ to say.  
He ends and I have to say something. What? What do I have to say?  
I can't say anything but I have to say something. Why is my mind completely blank?  
I want to look at my friends, maybe they know what I have to say- but I'm chained at the churchman's eyes.

What am I supposed to say?

_-_

_Do you want, until death separates you,  
to be faithful to her for all your days?_

_-_

Chains, little invisible chains from everyone I love bind me, immobilizing me. Everyone's look is on me, and it burns. It's like an invisible and powerful force that wants to crush me.  
I want to scream, but I can't. I have to answer. But what's the answer? What's the right answer?  
I don't remember! How can I not remember something that I had easily remembered for an entire long year?  
What's the… no. Chill out. Relax. Think on it, Huey, think on it.  
The word. It's only a word, I have to say only a little word… but I don't find that little word in my mind!

_-_

_Do you want, until death, which would separate,  
to love her, even in bad days?_

_-_

C'mon, Huey. It's not difficult.  
This question is something personal. It's something that I have to choose alone. Do I want to marry Jazmine?  
Do I want to marry the beautiful and lovely woman near me? Do I want to love her forever and ever?  
I want it. Or maybe not. Wasn't a difficult choice, why now everything is messing up?  
She's beautiful. I care of her.  
Then, where is the answer? Why didn't I find it yet? There's an answer, I'm sure of that.  
The answer… the answer. Maybe the absence of an answer is already an answer, no?  
But- what was the bullshit that Rummy once said? The absence of the evidence is not the evidence of- Oh, _that thing_.  
So what do I have to answer?

Breathe, Huey. Breathe.  
Don't think on what you should answer or at what you're supposed to answer- think at what you want to answer.  
So. Do you want to marry the lovely, gorgeous, marvelous woman next too you?

_-_

_No!  
No!_

_-_

"No."

The priest opens his eyes widely and the chains that bounded me now are gone. I hear a scary silence around me, but I don't care. Now I'm free.  
I turn to Caesar and Riley.  
Caesar seems like he just awaken from coma because of someone blaring a Heavy Metal CD right next to his ear. I never saw him so shocked- he can't even move.  
Riley is completely awakened, now. His eyes are fully open, and I can see every shade of green of his eyes. He's completely astonished. He probably never thought that I would do something like that.  
I turn to Cindy. She's gaping. I took her unawares, and she doesn't have the strength to react in some way.  
Then the bride. Jazmine.  
I'm so sorry for her but- something simply makes me understand that I couldn't say 'yes'. 'Yes' was the only word that I didn't have on my mind.  
I look at her, and only for a second I feel guilty.

"No."

I had to repeat it. I don't know why, but I had to do it.  
Now she's too much surprised for bursting out into tears, but I'm sure that she will do it- and I don't want to be here when that happen.

_-_

_You  
You hate  
You hate me_

_-_

I bring the nosegay from her hands. She doesn't even react- she's so much in shock.  
I turn to the crowd. The Dubois, Granddad, everyone- they have the same traumatized look on their face.  
I close my eyes and I throw away the bouquet.  
It's time to go away, I think. And if I know Granddad and Mrs. Dubois as well as I think, it'll be best if I begin to run.

_-_

_You  
You hate  
You hate me_

_-_

I walk to the door, and I feel the eyes of everyone following every movement of my body. Somebody is waking up, hearing at the murmur that begins to be loud in the crowd.  
Poor Jazmine, she would think that I let her do everything just for me to only come to this moment and say 'no'. No, the reality is that I couldn't marry her.  
I mean, I love her. That's all. I love her in a different way from everyone else, like I love Riley, Caesar and Cindy in a different way from everyone else.  
No, I couldn't marry her. In fact, I didn't want to marry her.

_-_

_You have asked me and I have said nothing_

_-_

I'm in my car when I hear somebody's scream. I don't know if it's a male scream or a female scream, but sure as hell it means only one thing: I have to get really far away from here, A.S.A.P.  
Riley and Caesar are looking at me- I can see them from the rear-view mirror. They are both amused and shocked, and I'm pretty sure that Riley has a camera in his hands.  
The crowd is on the street, behind me. I have this strange feeling that they would happily kill me. I think I better speed up.

Well, what can I say? I just wanted to do the simple thing. Marry a nice girl that thinks she love you, then live a pokey life in a boring, white and clean little city and look at myself while my dreams die a little every day.  
That's not the life for me. I want to fight, not to be content with a hypocrite American Dream.

So, whatever. I can't return home, I imagine I have to run… Chicago, maybe? That's right, Chicago. There's nothing like home... my real home. The Windy City of Illinois.

-

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-

* * *

-

--

-

_And that's how the pairing that I hate most should end up for me! Oooh, how beautiful!_

All right, let's talk. I hate Jazmine/Huey: I know that there are a lot of good fiction about them, a lot of fiction that I even like, but I simply can't stand the couple. Sowwy about that.  
Anyway, no hate. I mean, I love Caesar/Riley, you love something else. That's life. Tell me just if the story is terrible or what, right-right?

Let's bless YounNeil! Our black God blesses you, saviour of the American grammar!

Oh, yeah! The song is from **Rammstein**, the name is '**Du Hast**'. It means '_You have'_. I already wrote the english translation, in the story.

Welly-well, let's say… uh… Oh, yeah! The last part, where he says '_You, You hate, You hate me'_.

It's not in the song. When Till (_Rammstein singer_) sings "_Du hast_", it sounds a lot like '_hasst_', which means '_hate'_: you can understand that is '_hast_' (_have_) 'cause, in the end, he says '_Du hast mich gefragt'_, which means '_you have asked me'_.

I wrote '_you hate me'_ 'cause, well, it was pretty! Ain't it? Yeeeesssss it issss! Yeeessss it isssss!

-

(_German lyrics_)

_Du  
Du hast  
Du hast mich _

_Du hast mich  
Du hast mich gefragt  
Du hast mich gefragt _

_Du hast mich gefragt und ich hab nichts gesagt_

_Willst du bis der Tod euch scheidet true ihr sein für alle Tage?_

_NEIN! NEIN!_

_Willst du bis zum Tod, der scheide sie lieben auch in schlechten Tagen?_

_NEIN! NEIN!_

_-_

Right-right, my friends, that's the end! Hope ya' likit!

_Aufwiedersehen!_


End file.
